A Troop Who is Also an American Hero on the Homefront

This is a story about my kidney donor, Dennis, one of those rare, fine individuals who turns an ordinary life into heroism. I met Dennis strictly by chance, very much like throwing a bottle into the

This is a story about my kidney donor, Dennis, one of those rare, fine individuals who turns an ordinary life into heroism.  I met Dennis strictly by chance, very much like throwing a bottle into the ocean, because of the troop support website Books for Soldiers

In the fall of 2003, I didn’t feel very well because I was in kidney failure.  I was tired, sometimes queasy, my legs were swelling, and I didn’t feel well enough to go out much.  At the same time, I began to hear the same kind of criticisms that I had heard in high school, only this time it was directed towards the Iraq War rather than Vietnam.  I determined that this time, no longer an ignorant high school student, I would find a way to support the troops and show my appreciation, even if I were the only one in all of America to do so.  Of course, I was not the only American who felt the same way.  I did an internet search for troop support and found several organizations.  One stood out--Books for Soldiers.  I am an avid book reader, so this group seemed like a perfect match. 

In January 2004, my kidney failure became severe enough that I went on dialysis.  I had a belly catheter surgically inserted and lots of adjustments to get used to.  My belly ached as the dialysis fluid stretched out my tissues, the fluid pressing up on my diaphragm made it hard to breath if I was lying down on my back, nor could I sleep on my tummy at night.  I had to do a dialysis exchange every 4 to 5 hours, making leaving the house to run errands a matter of timing.  During the initial weeks, I even felt too bad to read or watch television.

One thing I did to take my mind off of how I was feeling was write letters and address padded envelopes to the troops, into which I would slip a couple of books--and that’s how I met Dennis.

My respect for the troops has grown because the books they request are so varied.  Political books, computer books, classics, books on architecture, economics, and philosophy, bestsellers, westerns, fantasy, and history are all requested by troops on the Books for Soldiers web site.  Nevertheless, I had never heard of “The Eddas” that Dennis requested.  I sent something else on Dennis’ request list, but asked him about the Eddas in my accompanying letter, and a correspondence developed.  I learned that he was in the National Guard, married with children, and he was also raising his grandchildren after the death of their mother.  I learned about his extensive travels and occupations, and we kept each other appraised of what we were each reading.  

Meanwhile, as the months passed, I learned to cope with my symptoms and side effects of kidney failure and dialysis.  My family members had the wrong blood type to donate to me, and several friends raised my hopes by suggesting they would give me a kidney, only to back down when they realized just what they were offering and what was involved.  All I will say about that is that it is better not to offer to donate an organ until you have thoroughly thought it through, because your whim is their life and death, and the disappointment that accompanies that terrible loss of hope is hard to bounce back from.

Now, I’ve had many correspondences with troops during their deployments over the years of my Books for Soldiers support, and I have met several as they passed by crossing the country after their deployments.  I was not too surprised when Dennis said, about a month after returning from Iraq, that he was coming to town to visit his parents and help them move.  He came over and had dinner with my husband Mark and I, and he met my extended family.  About a month later he came to help his parents again for a weekend, and we took him hiking and had a picnic lunch.  Like other troops who had stopped by, chatting with him was easy, and we all knew he was a great guy.  

Nothing prepared me for the email that came from him after he returned home from his second visit: “I want to give you a kidney.”  I wrote back to him that he had just returned from a stressful year, and that he needed time to readjust to his family and civilian life.  I suggested that he wait a month and discuss the idea with his wife.  Then, if he were still interested, he could request information from the university hospital transplant center.  Perhaps Dennis wondered at my lack of enthusiasm, but I dared not hope.  I busied myself that day, but at night lying in bed, no matter how hard I tried not to think about it, I cried at the thought that there might be a kidney for me after all.

Dennis had plenty of hard work and adjustments after he returned home.  His wife was transfered to another city for work, he took care of the kids and grandkids during the week while starting a new job, and then he returned to school.  During all this, he had a medical evaluation to make sure he was healthy enough to donate a kidney.  He planned his schedule around donating a kidney to me, and as soon as the semester was over, he flew into town so we could be admitted to the hospital for “our” surgery.  And, oh my goodness, he never told me how much he hated hospitals until months later!

Since my transplant in December of 2005, I have regained my energy and strength so that no one looking at me now could ever guess that I had once been so ill.  Meanwhile, Dennis continues being an everyday hero.  His kindness, quiet thoughtfulness, and integrity draw people to him.  Deployed once again, he watches out for his fellow troops and makes requests for them at Books for Soldiers on their behalf.  I know him to work hard for his family, his friends, and his country.

Meanwhile, Dennis’ donation has allowed me to live my life and contribute to those who need me.  Besides taking care of my family, I now work part-time.  Of course, I continue to send packages to the troops through Books for Soldiers.  I also contribute time as a moderator for the web site which indirectly gave me my life back.  I know I will be supporting the troops for the rest of my life.

I am proud to include Dennis as a part of my family.  I can’t be certain that I would be alive today if Dennis had not donated one of his kidneys to me.  Although I am sure he would argue that he is an ordinary man just living his life as well as he is able, there is no doubt in my mind that Dennis is an American hero.

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