Have a Happy Birthday

by Beth Stein

We’ve all heard the stories: The parents who spring for a clown to entertain at their baby’s first birthday party, only to frighten the diapers off the terrified toddler. Or the mother who invites 16 children for her 8-year-old son’s birthday but plans only a couple of activities. The next thing she knows, the boys are hurling leftover icing at each other in her living room.

Children’s birthday parties needn’t be nightmares or budget killers, if parents learn what is appropriate for what age, plan carefully, and use a little creativity.

One good idea is to match the number of guests to the child’s age. With 1-year-olds, experts recommend just family members attend and gear the party more to adults. By the time children are 2, however, it’s fine to invite two neighborhood or playgroup friends. Consider having someone lead them in a sing-along or enlist a happy-faced princess character to tell stories.

“If we do get a clown for under 3, we have them put on the makeup in front of (the children),” says Lynn Deal, who owns a games store that hosts birthday parties for children up to age 9.

Parents often mistakenly create too elaborate a party, especially for little ones. Pre-schoolers are more thrilled with a game of Pin the Tail on the Donkey than with a real-live pony ride that might scare them. Seven-year-olds are more impressed playing freeze dance in the garage (where the music stops and they freeze in silly positions) than with a South Sea Islands theme. “Parents need to remember that kids at birthday parties are already overwhelmed and overstimulated,” Deal says. “They don’t need for the party to add to that.”

An inexpensive, fun birthday party easily can happen at home, as long as you stick to a couple of suggestions:

Be prepared for what you want to do. Forget about interior design for the time; make it fun and childproof.
Plan more activities than you think you’ll need to fill 1 1/2 hours for pre-school birthdays, two hours for older kids. The key is to never make children wait between activities. “You have to prepare stage-to-stage and step-to-step, or you’re going to have to deal with whatever they want to do in your house,” Deal says.
If your home doesn’t have a suitable place to party, or the thought of putting it together yourself doesn’t appeal, lots of places would be glad to accommodate. Most recreational businesses that cater to children offer some sort of birthday package. Check with ice or roller skating rinks, laser tag, video arcades, bowling alleys, climbing walls, putt-putt golf courses, and places like Chuck E. Cheese. Many even provide invitations, birthday cake, a gift for the birthday child, and favors.

Best of all, they clean up.

Beth Stein is a mother, wife, and newspaper columnist on parenting and women’s issues and is a regular contributor to American Profile.

first appeared: 4/15/2001