Lasting Love

In an era when many American marriages end in divorce, spending seven or eight decades together is extraordinary. For insight into why some marriages last a lifetime, contributing editor Marti Attoun interviewed three couples whose vows have stood the test of time. Here are their stories.

Holding hands for 83 years

John Rocchio stood in the doorway of his uncle’s laundry in Providence, R.I., watching the girls walk by that day in 1922. A fetching brunette in a black skirt caught his eye.

"I said, ‘Wow. I’ve got to meet her,’" recalls Rocchio, 102.

Emilia, 100, smiles at the memory. "He was a clean-cut fella. He talked well and he was learning a trade."

"Wow" led to love and marriage, and this week—on Feb. 10—the Rocchios will celebrate 83 years together, giving them the distinction as the world’s longest-married couple, according to Guinness World Records.

After eight decades of marriage, the Rocchios still joke about Emilia’s pastor refusing to marry them because he didn’t think the union would last. Emilia was only 17.

"He said, ‘I want you to go home and grow up,’" Emilia says.

The Rocchios began marriage with more dreams than dollars. They lived the first few months with John’s family while he finished trade school to learn the printing business. He worked 25 years for The Providence Journal.

Until last August, the couple lived in the white Cape Cod-style house, Emilia’s dream home, that they built 52 years ago in North Providence. Today, they share a room at The Villa of St. Antoine nursing home in North Smithfield, R.I.

The Rocchios raised two daughters, Ella Sarra, of Cranston, R.I., and the late Gloria Rocchio, of North Providence.

John attributes their record-setting marriage to having a good sense of humor. "When your tempers flare up, use a little humor."

Just as important, both have always shown affection for each other.

"We’ve always held hands," John says. "My mother would ask Emilia, ‘Hey, are you afraid he’s going to run away? We don’t hold hands in Italy.’

"And Emilia would say, ‘We do hold hands here in America.’"

And 83 years later, they’re still holding hands.

Walking the land

In the early 1930s, Vernon Jacobs ran through cornfields and jumped fences to visit Doris Hensley. It’s easier now. The couple have been living on the same side of the fence for 70 years.

"We’ve known each other, you might say, all of our lives," Doris says. She and Vernon, both 91, grew up on farms in Arrowsmith, Ill. (pop. 298), attended Sunday school together and graduated with the class of 1932 at Arrowsmith High School. Doris was valedictorian of the 12-member class.

"Vernon was right behind me," she adds, noting that her future husband was class salutatorian.

From the start, the couple shared the same values, hard-work ethic and love for the land. After graduation, Vernon worked on the family farm while Doris attended business college in nearby Bloomington, then landed an office job.

In his Model A, Vernon would drive 20 miles to visit his girlfriend. The couple made plans—practical ones during the Depression—to elope and keep their marriage a secret. That way, explains Doris, she could keep her job, because most married women at the time didn’t work outside the home.

Vernon saved for a $10 diamond ring. Doris still owns the navy-blue frock she wore on Aug. 31, 1935, when they said "I do" before a justice of the peace in Waukegan, Ill.

"Three days later, the newspaper printed our marriage license and everyone in Arrowsmith knew," Doris says with a laugh.

In 1938, the couple moved to the farm homesteaded by her great-grandfather, and with a borrowed tractor from Vernon’s father, threw their energy into farming. They grew the farm to 700 acres and raised three children: Gary Jacobs of Ellsworth, Ill.; Jean Ward of Sheridan, Ill.; and Janet Butler of Arrowsmith.

Good health habits have reaped rewards, too. Every day, rain or shine, Vernon walks two miles. Doris suffered a stroke two years ago but swims daily and has recovered.

When asked for advice for newlyweds, Vernon doesn’t hesitate: "Throw away the credit cards."

Dance of a lifetime

Elizabeth and Rene Ledbetter met at a dance 75 years ago and began the waltz of a lifetime.

"I happened to look at the door and there he was," says Elizabeth, 89, who had gone with her parents to an Elks Lodge dance in DeLand, Fla. "He smiled at me and I smiled back and that’s how it started."

Suntanned and dark-eyed, Rene looked dashing in a beige suit with orange specks, recalls Elizabeth. "Oh, he was so cute."

She teetered in her first high heels and stepped on his toes, but Rene didn’t mind. The petite strawberry blonde had made a bigger impression on his heart. Soon, he was dispatching a Western Union messenger to her house to arrange dates since Elizabeth’s family didn’t have a telephone.

"Rene would say, ‘I’m coming over Saturday night to the dance. If you can’t go, let me know,’" Elizabeth says. "The carrier had read the message and was smiling."

Love deepened and the couple yearned to marry after Elizabeth graduated from high school. Her parents thought she was too young, but love triumphed. On July 13, 1935, Elizabeth’s father went out of town for an Elks convention and the couple eloped.

The Ledbetters set up housekeeping in an $8-a-month apartment in DeLand, where Rene worked as a railroad machinist and played trumpet in a band. Being a medical doctor was always in his plans and the Ledbetters moved to Memphis in 1945 so Rene could attend medical school at the University of Tennessee. They lived in government housing and, coincidentally, their two children, Rene Jr. and Joan, played with a neighbor teen named Elvis Presley.

In seven decades of marriage, both say that the roughest patch was when Rene worked long days as a doctor, then made house calls around the clock. Most arguments sprang from a lack of time together.

"She just missed me and wanted me home," says Rene, 91. He retired from his medical practice in Knoxville, Tenn., in 1975.

The couple now live in New Smyrna Beach, Fla. (pop. 20,048), where Rene’s flowers are the talk of the neighborhood. Elizabeth always has a fresh bouquet of roses, zinnias, cannas or mums.

On Saturday nights, Rene switches on The Lawrence Welk Show on their living room television and asks his wife to waltz. Sometimes it’s Elizabeth’s favorite song: "Let Me Call You Sweetheart."

And she seldom steps on his toes.

Marti Attoun is a Contributing Editor for American Profile.

Upload Your Own Stories, Photos and Videos

Every week, American Profile magazine brings you stories that celebrate the people and places that make America great. Now we want to hear your stories and see your photos, videos and even audio.

 Start Uploading Now!

 

Discuss this Article