Helping Wishes Come True

Kandi and Mark Bailey don’t see themselves as heroes. Helping make wishes come true for children with life-threatening illnesses has become a source of joy for the North Platte, Neb., (pop. 23,878) couple.

“It’s the kids who are the heroes,” Kandi says. “The children who have to go through the pain and the chemo and the needles. They’re the real heroes.”

The Baileys know that pain. Their own son, Garrett, died of a brain tumor at the age of 3. Garrett’s wish, a trip to Disneyland, was granted by the Make-A-Wish Foundation shortly before his death and the Baileys will never forget the joyful moments of that trip. They have dedicated their lives since Garrett’s death to ensuring other children and their families have the opportunity to know that joy.

When Make-A-Wish of Nebraska called the Baileys in 1989, they agreed to volunteer as wish granters.

“When they asked us to volunteer, we decided to do it for Garrett,” Mark says. “It was important that something positive came out of this. We kept hearing all the negatives. We kept hearing things like marriages end after the death of a child, or the family will never be the same. For me, that’s a big part of why we do this. To make it positive. I think Kandi and I have become stronger for it.”

The first wish they worked on was for Matt Elder, a 3-year-old Paxton, Neb., boy with cancer. Matt wanted to go to Disneyworld and the similarities were not lost on the Baileys.

“It was very difficult in the early stages, because we were dealing with our own grief,” Mark says.

Kandi agrees, “I remember thinking, ‘If he’s blonde, I don’t know if I can do this,’ but when we got there, Matt was so excited. He made it easy. It’s very rewarding to see a child so happy when you know they’ve been through so much pain.”

Evonne Williams, president of Make-A-Wish of Nebraska, says the Baileys are a wonderful example of the kind and caring hearts of volunteers statewide. Wishes have been granted to nearly 50 children since the Baileys helped form the organization’s North Platte chapter.

“We don’t do this alone,” Kandi insists. “We have a great core of volunteers in this area, most of them are wish parents themselves.”

That first wish, for Matt, has become a great source of joy. Matt’s cancer went into remission and never returned. He has recently been declared a long-term survivor and the Baileys have had the opportunity to watch him play basketball with the Paxton High School Tigers.

“I think it’s important that people realize this isn’t always sad,” Mark says. “People think we’re granting a last request, but that’s not what Make-A-Wish is about.”

Betsy Elder, Matt’s mother, agrees. “When they first contacted me about Matt’s wish I thought, ‘They must think he’s going to die.’ It was frightening, but it’s not about death, it’s about happiness. It’s a way for the family to stop thinking about doctors and treatments and illness and just be a family again for a little while. The wish is for the child, but it’s a gift to the family as well.”

After granting the most important wishes of dozens of children—from a jet ski to a shopping spree and a horse and saddle to a chance to swim with dolphins—the Baileys have no plans to stop their volunteer work. Still, they insist they’re not heroes.

“Like Kandi said, the kids are the heroes,” Mark says, “but the people are heroes, too. All the people who donate to Make-A-Wish to help make this possible. They’re also heroes. All we do is bring the two together.”

Robin E. Shirley is a freelance writer in North Platte, Neb.

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