Leading By Example

Tally Adams Jr. of Eastover, S.C., is not one to brag about his life. His children do that for him—and during his 77 years, he’s given them plenty to honor. Mr. Adams—church deacon, volunteer, farmer, and community pillar—has made every moment count in his busy life. You have to, with 10 children.

“Dad has always been busy,” says son Wayne K. Adams, 46. “In addition to being involved with the schools and the community, he worked a full-time job and farmed to make ends meet. But he always found ways to spend time with us.

“For example, he taught us how to drive the tractor, capitalizing on that time to make it quality time, as well as getting something done,” Wayne says. “When we took hour-and-a-half drives to our grandma’s house with all 10 of us loaded into the station wagon, he made that time count, too.”

That well-spent time has paid off in a close-knit, loving family, headed by Mr. Adams and Florence, his wife of 54 years.

“We’re basically the image of him from a perspective of responsibility, character, the work ethic,” explains son Tally Orain Adams, 47. “In this day and time, a lot of kids don’t have a father figure. We’ve always had that.”

Others have recognized Mr. Adams’ fatherly accomplishments; last year, he was named the Father of the Year by the South Carolina attorney general’s office. The award recognizes the importance of fatherhood in the development of strong moral character in children.

The good ol’ days

Warm memories are many, of good times, hard times, and a houseful of love for Wayne, Tally, and their siblings who grew up in the modest, four-bedroom brick home: Everett Adams, now deceased; Barbara Adams Simon, 51; Chivis Adams, 50; Gladys Adams Wilson, deceased; Audrey Adams Osmanski, 45; Rolando Adams, 43; Joyce Adams Morrison, 42; and Chiquiti Adams Dean, 41.

“We were poor, but we didn’t know what poor meant. That was relative,” Barbara says. “Mom made all our clothes, and she kept us well-dressed. It didn’t matter that all of it wasn’t bought from a store. Daddy worked hard; sometimes Mom worked two jobs as well. We saw work was a required part of life.”

They recall the hard work of farming, tricks they played on one another, and crowded family trips. They like to retell the story of young Wayne accidentally being left at a rest stop when they assumed everyone was accounted for.

With so many children to marshal about, Wayne remembers his father adopting a code. “Sometimes as kids we’d be watching TV, and he’d come in and say, ‘Orain on down, go to bed.’ Translation: Everyone the age of Tally Orain or younger, move now. He wiped that whole bunch out with no questions asked,” Wayne recalls with a laugh.

When it came time to discipline, “he was sufficient,” Tally shrewdly offers, smiling at his father.

“He’s a man who, when he tells the children something, he means that,” Mrs. Adams says.

And his children knew that misbehaving meant consequences.

“Many times we’d do something wrong or bad, and Mom would say, ‘I’m going to tell your daddy,’ and we’d have to wait all day long ’til he got home from work, knowing that was over our head. We’d try to win her graces, but it never worked,” Wayne says.

“That kept us in line because we knew what the punishment would be. I used to hate the fact that I was growing up as Deacon Adams’ son. You can’t do anything (wrong) because Deacon Adams’ son wasn’t supposed to do that. It’s like a mold you’re in. Many times I wished the mold would be broken, but now I praise God because it has made the difference in my life,” says Wayne, now a minister.

Academic excellence

His own schooling stopped after 12th grade, but Mr. Adams emphasized the value of education to his children. “When the schools started integrating here in South Carolina in 1965, two of our children were two of the first blacks to go to (all-white) Lower Richland High School,” he says. “I wanted my children to have the best education that they could get, so we pushed them to do the best that they could in school.”

Education would open doors for them, he told his children. “He let us know that with education and higher learning, there’s nothing you can’t do,” says Barbara, who holds a doctorate degree in nursing. “You can’t use racism as an excuse. He was teaching us a lesson that we could take with us.”

Following high school graduation, “it was always an expectation that you were going to get a job or you were going to go to school,” she says. “You did one or the other, and we all chose to go to school.”

“I was hoping somebody would say, ‘I’m going to get a job and go to work,’ but everybody went to college,” laughs Mrs. Adams. Indeed, all 10 children graduated from college and several pursued post-graduate degrees.

“We have a family of everything,” says Tally, noting that he and his siblings have made careers in such diverse professions as engineering, accounting, education, law enforcement, and marketing. They live as close as the next road down and as far away as Kenya.

Part of the family

When friends of his children began visiting their home, Mr. Adams admits, “We were a second mother and father for a lot of them.”

“He’s a father to the whole community,” confirms his wife. “People seek him out. He was PTA president at Lower Richland School. He was a deacon, a superintendent, and a teacher at church. He always helped out when voting time came. If something came along, he had to be involved in it. That’s what’s kept him alive—he’s been busy.”

His father has embraced many, and the caring is returned tenfold, Tally says. “He’s a notary, so a lot of people come to get him to notarize things because of the impact that’s he’s had on their life somewhere down the line,” he says. “Then we’ve got cousins and friends of the family that he’s been a mentor to, and they always come back because they feel like they’re part of the family.”

After Mr. and Mrs. Adams had raised their family, they started over again in 1994 as foster parents. “After our children were gone, my wife decided she wanted to help out some other children,” Mr. Adams says. “We had about eight or nine, but we’re down to one now.”

They primarily raise boys who need dependable adult role models.

Most Sundays after church the family and extended family crowd into the Adamses’ home for a lunch so good that Mrs. Adams once was featured in a Time-Life book for her Southern cooking.

“We get together around the table and talk about what we call the good ol’ days,” Tally explains.

With 27 grandchildren and two great-grandchildren, their home remains a hub for activity. “Most of the children in the community gather here in the afternoon after school and on Sundays, too. I give my wife credit for putting up with all the children in the community,” he says with a smile. “I’m very proud of her and the whole family.”

It’s clear that the feeling is mutual.

Frequent contributor Michael Nolan thoroughly enjoyed the Sunday afternoon he spent with the Adamses.

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