Redden, OK

Maudie Joe Wesley would never miss Memorial Day in Redden, Okla., even when she had to trek from Michigan for the annual reunion and cemetery cleanup. Now that the spry 77-year-old Choctaw woman has moved to nearby Durant, she only has to drive 30 miles.

“This is always a special time for all my family and friends,” says Wesley, who brings coolers of food to share and donates money for cemetery upkeep. “This land and the people are special, and we have to take care of what’s left.” Like many southeastern Oklahoma natives, Wesley is a member of the Choctaw Nation, a people devoted to both family and land.

Established in 1912, the Redden Cemetery and the adjoining Redden schoolhouse—now used only for community or family gatherings—are about all that’s left of the town, an unincorporated area outside of Stringtown (pop. 379). Years of unpredictable weather and diminishing crop revenues forced many to leave their farms for jobs in Oklahoma City and elsewhere.

The town comes back together each Memorial Day, however. More than 100 volunteers carefully remove hundreds of plastic and silk flowers from around the cemetery and hand clean the arrangements, some of which are decades old. After a potluck lunch, volunteers return the clean flowers to the gravesites, making sure every marker has flowers and every veteran’s grave is honored with an American flag.

Most are related in some way to three or four families who settled the area more than 100 years ago. But some—Betty and T.J. Carter among them—are relatively new to Redden and have forged powerful ties to the cemetery. The two find comfort for their grief in caring for the grave of their 44-year old daughter, Katharine, who died two years ago from a sudden illness.

Her grave is close to the family’s summer farm in southeastern Oklahoma where Katharine played as a child.

“Somehow, taking care of this old cemetery, and especially Katharine’s grave, helps all of us take care of ourselves,” Betty Carter says of the 500-mile annual trip from their home in Stratford, Texas. “This little community gives a lot to families like us, and the only way we know how to thank them is by helping others and keeping Redden Cemetery beautiful.” Mrs. Carter has become friends with a Redden woman who also lost a child.

The community credits Sue Shaw and Kathy Milton with keeping the annual gathering alive. Shaw’s mother, Grace Hampton, started the cemetery cleanup shortly after the end of World War II when Redden still supported a school, a local store, and a bustling farming community. Unlike many cemeteries, plots are free, so upkeep depends on donations and volunteers.

“We have to do the work ourselves, or it just won’t get done,” Shaw says. “But we have a good time working and visiting together. A lot of our kin only get a chance to visit once a year, so we make the most of it.”

Because the cemetery has no formal plan and limited records, Shaw and Milton have spent years plotting the grounds and researching who is buried in each of several unmarked gravestones scattered throughout the cemetery. The annual cleanup lets them gather information from volunteers who share family history.

But Redden isn’t an exclusive community. Volunteers say newcomers are welcome, since there’s plenty of land left to bury a loved one in the old cemetery.

“If they’re willing to help us,” Shaw says, “we’re happy to welcome them to our special family.”

Wade Hyde is a freelance writer in Dallas.

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